Peter Blane


Wow

Posted in Uncategorized by wusspett on December 4, 2015

So, I totally forgot i had a wordpress account. It’s one of those things that you forget about, put in a box, move, unpack, see it, and go “what the fuck? This is amazing.” I read the last 3 posts I made and i am super impressed. “Impressed” is a weird word. Is it indicating that i feel pressed down upon?

Anyway, I don’t actually have anything worth mentioning, so here is some more text: I still feel like writing things in this box because I drank a glass of wine, a beer, then another glass of wine. I just reminded myself of Dave Chapelle’s standup when he’s talking about when white people are high and all they do is talk about the last time they were messed up and categorize everything they did: “i had 2 shots of Jaeger, taquilla, 4 bong hits man, beer, cheese burger” (i had to youtube that shit to get the quote). You know what this paragraph needs? This paragraph needs more lists. For example: things that follow a logical progression, examples of instances of reality, superficial girt requests based on earth rotation anniversaries.

It feels so much better knowing that this information is out there and will help no one. What makes me the most excited about it is that I feel like i can type better because of the frequency of my ability to ramble within a text box while simultaneously wasting the time of the poor soul who decided they were going to read this by their own volition. To quote Mr. T (and use yet another semi colon): “I pity the fool,”

You know what’s funny? Yes, I am sure you just had like 7 things pop into your head that are legitimately hilarious, however, my intent for asking the above question was to insinuate that I am experiencing something currently that could be considered a candidate for your collection of things that come to your mind when people ask “you know what’s funny?” To answer this rhetorical question (you may have not guessed that it was a rhetorical question based on the explanation. My, my i have misled you), I am drinking a large amount of water out of a substantial wine glass. If you are wondering, “is that the same glass this idiot was drinking the aforementioned glasses of wine?”, i will quench the thirsty curiosity embedded in the sarcastic remark regarding my intelligence by saying: yes. Yes, it is the same glass. Have you ever heard of going green? I’m saving water, mother fucker. Granted, I am watching the Packers vs. Lions game on my 60″ plasma while doing so, but I’m reusing my wine glass and I feel pompous as shit about it. You are nothing.

This is gold.

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